


Curiosity

by TheNinth



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Backstory, Kissing, M/M, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-28
Updated: 2009-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-05 09:36:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNinth/pseuds/TheNinth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Wilson was fifteen the first time he kissed another boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Curiosity

James Wilson was fifteen the first time he kissed another boy.

To be fair, the other boy had initiated the kiss, and there was one hundred dollars riding on it. But James had been willing to go along with it for half the money. Fifty bucks for one kiss with a classmate James knew by name (Daniel) but didn't know well enough to call him a friend. Daniel was sixteen. He'd already been held back once, and by the way things were going, likely to be held back again.

Daniel's problem, in James' opinion, wasn't that he was stupid, but that Daniel did stupid things.  He was out of school a lot, recovering from whatever dare he'd attempted (it was only November and Daniel had already been in the hospital twice). So when James heard how simple and harmless this dare was, he agreed to go along with it. For a price.

He was doing it for the money. He was doing it to satisfy his own curiosity about what it would be like. He wasn't counting on liking it.

Daniel leaned in and pressed his mouth against James'. Both boys kept their eyes open and their hands in their pockets and made sure that nothing else touched.  Bill, the kid who initiated the dare, counted to thirty.  James and Daniel backed away from each other. Daniel spit in the dirt. James hesitated a moment and then wiped his sleeve across his mouth.  When he could find his voice, he demanded his fifty dollars.

James' older brother ended up in three fights with guys who were calling James a homo, but James thought about that kiss the rest of the week. He thought about the way Daniel's dry lips pressed against his and how his mouth tasted like cinnamon gum. How he looked so close-up. James could see the black and grey flecks in Daniel's blue eyes and his sandy-coloured eye lashes.  He could hear Daniel breathing through his nose. He could smell the "boy scent" - clean sweat and soap and shampoo and whatever sort of laundry stuff Daniel's mother used.  It was completely different than kissing a girl. Not better. Just... different.

Two weeks later, James Wilson found out it was so much easier to pick up girls if they thought you were gay. The other guys stopped calling James a homo when they found out he was the first guy to ever get into Lisa Hardigan's pants.

\-----

James Wilson was seventeen the first time he had a boyfriend.

It was his freshman year of college, and he was younger than most of the people in his classes. He was away from home and his parents and his friends for the first time. James was a little scared and more than a little lonely, so when Matthew, a Junior in his Intro to Psych class started talking to him, James  was grateful.

They hung out after class, studied together, caught movies, or just went for long, aimless drives in Matt's mother's car.  Sometimes when James' roommate had a girl over James would spend the night at Matt's apartment. He lived off-campus with his mother, and she didn't mind James sleeping on their couch once in a while.

One night, just before mid-terms, James' roommate Devon looked up from his anthro textbook.  "You know Matt's totally queer for you, right?"

"What?"

"Dude. Matt is totally queer for you. Haven't you ever seen the way he looks at you?"

James ignored the knot in his stomach and stared at his Freshman Lit essay.  "You're full of shit, man."

"Totally not. Everyone knows it. Matt's a fag and he's in love with you."

"Are you high?  Even if Matt were a fag, he wouldn't be interested in me.  I'm straight!"

Devon tossed his book aside and rolled over onto his back. He stared up at the ugly, industrial blue, cement ceiling of their tiny room. "I'm telling you. He wants you.  He wants to suck your dick."  Devon lifted his head and watched James carefully. He could see the blush rising in James' face.  "Nah. He wants you to suck his dick. He wants to fuck you. Bend you over a desk and..."

Before he could continue, James gathered his things.  "I can't believe you. I'm going to the library."  He shoved his books and notes into his bag and slammed the door behind him.

James went to Matt's instead.  Matt's mother let him in and sent him back to Matt's room. "I'm going to work. Tell him there's money for pizza on top of the television," she called as James disappeared around the corner.

Matt's bedroom door was open and he was sitting on his bed, knees drawn up, and a book resting against them. He grinned when he saw James, then frowned when he saw the look on James' face.  "Sup, kid?"

James stood there, fingers worrying the strap of his bag.  "There's a rumour..." he started, and Matt's face fell.

"Fuck.  God damn it."  He threw his book against the wall.  James watched the pages flutter as it fell to the floor, landing on its spine.

"I guess I don't need to tell you which rumour."

"No. I can guess."  Matt turned his face to the wall and sighed. "Well, seeya, Jimmy. You're a good kid.  Glad to have met you."

"What?"

"What what?  I stupidly said something to someone who obviously telegraphed it to the rest of the free world, and it's made its way back to you and now you know. I've got a crush on you and you're just stopping by to tell me to fuck off because you're not like that and it's creepy."

"So it's true."  He made it a statement.

"No."

"Liar."

"Just get out of here, Jimmy, okay? See you in class. I'll sit on the other side of the room."

James drew a deep breath and stepped into the room.  He counted to five and made his way to the bed.  He counted to five again and sat down on the edge, fingers still gripping the leather strap.  "So it's true."  He tried again.

"Fuck off, willya."

James put his hands on Matt's shoulders and forced his friend to look at him.  "What did you say."

"I said fuck off."

James closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "What did you say about me."  He spoke slowly, as if his friend were a child who needed special handling.

"I... I don't know. I was out with some of the guys from my Shakespeare class. We were drunk and I said something about... about what a great guy you are and how I sometimes thought about...."

James leaned in closer and lowered his voice. "Stop talking about things and get to the point." Curiosity crept up his spine like a cat after a mouse. If Devon had been right and Matt did want to fuck him, what would that be like? What did it feel like? Was it different to have a guy go down on you than a girl? What did it feel like to suck off someone?  How different was it to fuck a guy? James felt his temperature rising with the questions burning in his brain. There was only one thing to do.

James grabbed the neckline of Matt's tee-shirt and twisted the material around his fingers.  Matt stared wide-eyed and silent as James Wilson kissed him long, slow, and hard. The last thing he'd counted on was Jimmy being the aggressor.  The next-to-last thing he'd counted on was Jimmy being so willing. 

\-----

A month later, things ended in a spectacular mess.

James, tucked warmly under a quilt and wedged between Matt and the bedroom wall, opened one eye and looked up.  He pushed the quilt away from his face and then wiggled until he was on his side with his head propped up on his hand.  "Doing anything over the break?" James, desperate to get his general required courses over with, was signed up for two courses offered in the winter mini-semester.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that."  Flat. Emotionless. 

James felt his stomach twist and knew where this was going.  He wormed his way out of the bed and sorted through the tangle of clothes on the floor.

"It's just that my girlfriend's at the University of Florida.  I'm going to spend the break with her.  I was going to tell you."

"No, it's fine. I mean, I'm just some guy, right? Just this kid." He gestured quotes. "'Everyone experiments in college. It was never serious. You're a good kid, James.' You don't need to say it." He found everything but one sock and got dressed.

"Jimmy, don't...."

"James. You don't get to call me Jimmy anymore."  He left before another word was said.

\-----

Year after year of school fell behind as James Wilson pushed ahead.  Courses over the summer and the short break between semesters. Working part time, working as a teaching assistant, and classes consumed him.  There were girlfriends. Countless girlfriends. Some he was serious about and some he wasn't.  Some he lived with.  Others were gone before he learned their middle name or favourite colour.

Each relationship began with the best of intentions. At the start, he was the perfect boyfriend. He was tidy, smart, compassionate, caring, and he could cook. He showered affection on his girlfriends and they were deliriously happy together.  Each relationship began with James being completely and hopelessly in love.

Each relationship ended when James' curiosity was piqued by someone or something else.  A course or a patient would take his attention and he wouldn't notice until the woman he was living with was nothing more than the ghost of her perfume in their shared apartment, or he'd check his machine and realise it had been weeks since he had spoken to someone he was dating. Sometimes he'd be dating two (or three) women at once and things would blow up when he used the wrong name or accidentally ran into the other woman (or women) at a bar or a restaurant.

It was always the women who left, fed up with his roaming eye (and hand, and heart) or tired of being ignored in favour of school or work. When confronted, James was always honest.  He was not lying when he said he was in love with both (or all three) women. There was something about each one that fit him. The problem was that it was proving to be impossible to find one woman who had everything he was looking for and enough mystery to keep him curious.

Eventually there was a wife. A permanent position at a good hospital. Friends.  James put everything behind him and focused on the future.  He and his wife discussed kids.  It appeared that James Wilson had it all. In his heart, James knew that something was still missing.

\-----

James Wilson was head of the Oncology department at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital the next time he kissed another man.

"You wouldn't dare," he said and narrowed his eyes, raising his cane in a threatening way. 

Wilson laughed and shook his head. "You're right. I wouldn't."

"I would," said House, and he used his cane to back Wilson against the wall of his office.

 

House leaned in and pressed his mouth against Wilson's. Both men kept their eyes open and their hands in their pockets and made sure that nothing else touched.  Wilson thought about the way House's dry lips pressed against his and how his mouth tasted like coffee. How House looked so close-up. Wilson could see the grey flecks in House's blue eyes and his dark eye lashes that brushed against his own as House's eyes slipped closed.  He could hear House breathing through his nose. He could smell the distinct "House scent" - soap and shampoo and the slight medicine smell that clung to House. It was completely different than kissing a woman. No. Not different. Just better.

Wilson wondered if House could hear the same soft clicking sound that he could as the final piece of the puzzle fell into place.  He wondered how long it would take for House to grow tired of him.


End file.
